


You Are Cordially Invited

by Baronessbamf



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: BFF Dorian, Binge Drinking, Cullen Rutherford's runaway imagination, F/F, Gen, Hawke dresses the mabari up in daft outfits, Hen Night Shenanigans, Marriage, Marriage preparations, Minor Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, Supportive Relationship, TOOT TOOT HERE COMES THE PARTY BULL, Wedding planner Vivienne, slow start but will descend into hijinks, useless lesbian lady Trevelyan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-13 21:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4538814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baronessbamf/pseuds/Baronessbamf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josephine and the Inquisitor are getting married. Hijinks ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preparations (Alt: Cullen worries for the safety of the War table)

**Author's Note:**

> Tags to be added as the story progresses.

 

“And we'll need to deploy some troops in the area now we've confirmed there is Red Templar activity there.” Inquisitor Trevelyan always looked you directly in the eyes when she gave orders, but she didn't today. In fact, despite the serious nature of discussion she was practically giddy with excitement.

“Yes, Inquisitor.” Cullen thought her behaviour was most strange. Lack of eye contact, general unassertive tone of voice. The Commander looked at Leliana for some sort of recognition this was not normal because he would never know otherwise.

Leliana seemed to have a quirk on her lips and was observing Josephine and the Inquisitor closely. “Will that be all for today, Inquisitor?”

Cullen cast his attention to Josephine whom was a veritable basket of excitement and knowing glances towards the Inquisitor. Cullen knew the two were in a committed relationship. He could understand those mischievous looks if they'd just gotten together, but Josephine Montilyet and Lady Trevelyan were very much established and in a long term relationship.

Though...the Inquisitor did sometimes get that smirk on her face when she'd pulled a prank or did something cheeky...but she was normally in the vicinity of the thing she'd been cheeky...with...Cullen's eyes darted to Josephine, then the Inquisitor...then the War Table.

Cullen began to sweat. Did they do something to the table? What would they have done...oh Maker no. For the love of Andraste...Had the Inquisitor and The Ambassador...'done the do' on the table????

“Ah, well. Actually. Josie and I are getting married.” Lady Trevelyan flushed.

“Maker's Breath.” Cullen heaved a sigh of relief which earned him a room of quizzical looks.

“We wanted you two to be the first to know as, we want the ceremony to be here. And preferably soon.” Josephine smiled.

 *

 

Preparations began immediately, Josephine insisted they consult Vivienne for decorations.

“I don't get why I can't just mount Fereldan Frostback's skull above the alter. You put a few flowers in that it's weddingy.” Trevelyan was handed a cup of tea and stirred it as Vivienne shook her head.

“You poor thing, Lady Montilyet.” Though she was clearly joking, “I suppose you'll want to wear full armour too, dear?” The Inquisitor felt her cheeks get a bit hot.

Josephine laughed, “Of course she doesn't!” She put her hand on The Inquisitor's knee and beamed at her. A moment of silence, “You don't do you?”

Trevelyan snorted, “No...” she took a pointed sip of tea. “Though...I want to look elegant, and powerful. And like I could outrun and slay a wyvern in heels.”

“Lace. I would like Lace. And a long train.” Josephine was getting visibly excited at the prospect of wedding dresses.

“Those are good looks to go for.” Vivienne smiled writing some notes down, “Who will be your bridesmaids and Ushers?”

“Well, Yvette, of course. But Leliana will be the Maid of honour. I am hoping Cassandra could be a bridesmaid too.”

Trevelyan laughed, “Good luck getting her in a gown.”

“I'd suggest threatening plaid-weave but Cassandra might actually like that.” Vivienne sipped her tea.

“I was think the bridesmaids could wear bright yellow.” Vivienne almost choked on her tea at Josephine's words.

“Dorian is my Man of honour, then it's Varric, Sera and Ironbull.”

“Dorian? That's a dangerous statement Inquisitor” Vivienne's eyebrow was raised so quickly it almost flew off her face and through the roof of Skyhold.

“...But he's...my best friend?” The Inquisitor cringed as she felt some sort of cosmic disapproval.

“Any flowers your fond of, my Dears?”

“Sunflowers. Crystal Grace...and...Elfroot.” Josephine pointedly looked at Diana for that one.

“Elfroot is very important to me.” The Inquisitor said softly.

Vivienne sighed, she could be in her estate right now. Drinking fine wine. But she was helping the long-suffering Ambassador Montilyet and useless lesbian Inquisitor Trevelyan organising some colour clashing clusterfuck. She stared off into the distance. These woman were her friends and a wonderful couple. We all make sacrifices for our friends.

“I think this ceremony will be wonderful.” The Court Enchanter smiled hoping to the Maker it didn't look fake.

*

 

The Inquisitor's desk was so piled high with invitations she could barely see Josephine on the other side of the desk. It was a good job Josie was so organised. The Inquisitor would of easily 'forgot' the majority of the Trevelyan family.

“Well, that seems to be it for our families. I doubt anyone but my immediate family will come though.” The Inquisitor hoped, but tried to sound sad.

“Oh please, you're the biggest religious icon of our time.”

“My oldest brother is very angry, yes.” She couldn't help but smirk slightly, no one had expected the youngest daughter of House Trevelyan to be anything special. Josephine smiled and laughed softly at the Inquisitor's smug expression.

“So, I assume everyone in the inner circle is invited.” Josephine scribbled on her clipboard as The Inquisitor nodded. “Oh Leliana, and Varric have requested multiple plus ones. Two for Leliana and six for Varric”

“How many people is Leliana bringing? I mean. I feel it's only polite to invite the King of Fereldan. I mean. Our agents saved his life, and if we have to invite the Empress. We can't snub Fereldan.”

“You're getting better at not offending royalty, I'm proud.” Josie grinned broadly.

“You make me want to be a better woman, my dear. But, anyway...Morrigan is already here. I'm pretty sure the damn Arishok isn't turning up...Is it that Assassin we worked with a while back? And then who?”

“You think it's could be the Hero of Fereldan?” Josie bounced excitedly. The very idea was tantalizing. The woman who saved the world. _Leliana's_ one true love.

“Oh gosh. Well give her and extra plus one.” The Inquisitor beamed, “And I was going to invite Hawke anyway, so. Tell Varric that. And Hawke will probably bring Merrill.” The two stayed up until early morning writing invitations.

“There is a total of seven hundred invitations, if they all bring one person-” Josie began to panic slightly already thinking about the amount of people to co-ordinate.

“Which they won't. And not everyone will have time to come or be able to make it.” The Inquisitor placed her hands on Josie's cheeks, “And if over a thousand people turn up, it's Commander Cullen and Vivienne's problem. Not ours. All we have to do is look beautiful and be in love.” Josephine snuggled close to the Inquisitor.

*

 

“Hey Boss, going through all those...er...” The Iron Bull reached over the Inquisitor's shoulder to pick up some of the RSVPs from the bar. “This looks boring, I'll leave you to it.” but a desperate hand clung to The Iron Bull's bicep.

“If you don't help me with this, I will kill the Sandy Howler with Cassandra instead.” She had the eyes of a crazed wyvern.

“That...That's harsh Boss.” but he sat next to her none the less. “So...when _is_ the wedding?”

“Hmmm, not long. Two weeks. That's why we killed the Abyssal High Dragon. I found this great taxidermist in Orlais who wanted to work with the body, and I need decoration.”

“Are taxidermy dragons customary at weddings, because maybe I should rethink the 'Qunari don't get married' thing.”

“No...though I hope you'll join us for my hen night.” she nudged his shoulder, “Or...stag night? Doe night? Whatever, we all go out for a night of drinking and debauchery.” The Inquisitor frowned at the reply in her hand “Ugh, Comtes always let you down.”

“...Whose planning this?”

“I mean Dorian is my best man, so. He is.”

Bull felt a little hurt honestly. Debauchery and drinking were two of the things he loved the most. And he wasn't in charge?

“Excuse me I have to go right now.” Bull got up and walked out the Herald's Rest at lightning speed.

“B-but...the Invitations?” Lady Trevelyan questioned to the mostly empty tavern helplessly.

*

 

Dorian is preparing for his beauty sleep when The Iron Bull burst into his room.

“FASTA VAAS! Bull it's four in the morning!” Dorian felt his spirit almost leave him.

“What have you got planned for the Inquisitor's last night as a free woman?”

“I-I- What?”

The Iron Bull went ham at that point.

Dorian stayed up all night. But not doing what he really wanted to be doing with Bull.

 


	2. Three Bottles of Brandy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Party Bull pulls through Val Royeaux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever. The words weren't forthcoming, but if you think that's bad you should see all the other fanfics I've abandoned *cackles evilly*

“Is it even _possible_ to have fun in Val Royeaux?” The Inquisitor groaned to the others, Lady Trevelyan had an open distaste for Orlais since the disaster at the Winter Ball. But the three dragons at the Lion might have had something to do with it. Varric had lost count on how many times they'd narrowly avoided Kaltenzahn's claws after a thorough ass-kicking.

Iron Bull spluttered, “Of course it is? Right Sera?”

“Pretty vague, yeah? You can do all sorts in Val Royeaux. Some fun, some rubbish.”

“See, you can have fun in Val Royeaux.” Bull dismounted his horse with the others as the reached the city.

“I don't know, seemed a bit...evasive?” Dorian gracefully dismounted and gracefully re-adjusted his robes.

“I thought you were supposed to be organising this Sparkler?” Varric asked Dorian who rolled his eyes.

“Bull heard what this event entailed and decided that he should organise it. Though I won't deny his credentials”

“Wait...Bull, you organised this?” The Inquisitor turned on her heel to jump back on her Nuggalope, “I'm not ending tonight drunk, naked, and tied up in an Orlesian tavern!”

The Iron Bull wrestled Lady Trevelyan off her Nuggalope, “Oh come on Boss! I promise the worst I'll do to you is leave you in an Orlesian tavern in your underpants.” The Iron Bull was a surprisingly even match for The Inquisitor. She was over his shoulder grabbing onto his horns and shaking his head about, “Boss! Stop it!”

“Let me go!” She yelled as she punched his back.

“Should we just...leave? People are starting to look.” Dorian needed a drink, like, why were these his lover and best friend?

Sera snorted, “What? But this is funny!”

“We can't, I have a special guest arriving and she expects us all.” Varric wiggled his eyebrows.

“SPECIAL GUEST?” The Inquisitor practically fell off The Iron Bull in pure excitement, “Is Hawke here?”

“That's all it takes?” Bull looked a little hurt, Dorian gave him a reassuring pat.

“Hawke is kinda cool, yeah?” Sera grinned slightly. The Inquisitor readily agreed.

“I mean, all those belts are a bit much. I don't think they serve much practical purpose.” Dorian drew looks with that comment. “Mine are a fashion statement. There's nothing fashionable about that mess.”

“I'd change if I could, Ser Pavus. But it's my brand now.” Snarked a voice, they looked to see Hawke standing with her hand on her hips at the entrance to Val Royeaux. She stepped forward but tumbled over.

“Hawke! Oh Creators!” A dark haired elf appeared and fussed over Hawke.

“Merrrrrillllll” Hawke got up, “I'm just tipsy.”

“The sun hasn't even set, yet.” Varric's eyes were crinkled as he tried to suppress a laugh.

“Wait, Merrill, as in _Merrill_ Merrill?” Lady Trevelyan was so happy.

“Merrill as in blood mage Merrill?” Dorian less so.

“Merrill as in elfy elf Merrill?” Sera's face matched Dorian's.

“HEY.” Hawke yelled getting to her feet, “I went through seven years of people bitching at my girlfriend. Now, while a seriously doubt either of you are as bad Fenris and Anders-”

“Dorian and Sera actually get along pretty well.” Varric interrupted.

“Oh Thank the Maker. Remember when we made them wear the get-along tunic?”

“I'm surprised Varric left that out the Champion's Tale actually.” Merrill looked at Hawke, “How did he not kill you? And Anders? Actually...”

“Broody got so drunk he got kind of nostalgic about us all.” Varric chatted as Bull led the group to the nearest tavern.

“Anders was too drunk to talk about anything other than cats” Hawke folded her arms and grinned broadly.

“Well, I hope we all get well past the nostalgic stage tonight.” Bull grinned pushing the door open.

“Last one to finish the Nevarran Spirit has to eat the worm.” Sera declared throwing her hands ups as Bull shepherded the group indoors.

*

One bottle of Antivan Brandy later, everyone was in good spirits.

“And then, it just goes...poof!” Lady Trevelyan widens her eyes as she makes a comical pop sound, “One minute there is this huge High Dragon corpse then next, Nothing!” Hawke and Merrill laugh with the rest of them.

Dorian snorts with laughter into his drink, “Yes, Well. Sorry about that.”

“Are you sorry because it made me brown my breeches or because your mage robes were destroyed by dragon blood?” Trevelyan accused.

“The robes.” Dorian admitted wistfully.

“I'm not sure we have any good stories like that.” Hawke frowned, Varric looked at her incredulously. “Well, ok, so. Let me tell you about the time Aveline found out my dog was named Wesley.”

“Wesley as in her dead husband?” Dorian choked.

“You've read my book!” Varric beamed. Dorian gave him a look that said 'I've read _every_ book'.

“Now I didn't name the dog after him obviously I'm not one-hundred percent a dick.”

“It's true, she's not.” Merrill patted Hawke on the back and cuddled close.

“So, my sister is like 'We have to change the Dog's name' and I'm all, 'No we don't'.” Hawke took a swig of her drink, “Aveline finds out and she is like, you know a bit mad at first but then I played it off as 'This dog is like my son you should be honoured' and she softens but...I mean she's mad-”

“...Is the dog like your son though?” Sera asked.

“No he's a vicious killer.” Hawke crossed her arms.

“Yes, she puts him in outfits.” Merrill blurts out, Hawke looks betrayed. “Sorry...When Anders threw out his old robes she asked if she could have them to make a mini-mage outfit for the dog.” Merrill clapped her hands over her mouth.

“...Did the dog look cute in it?” Iron Bull asked, Trevelyan nodded wanting to know also.

“...yeeeeeeah.” Hawke smiled. “Anyway. Aveline and I made peace, Wesley the dog made a second home in the guard barracks.”

“I want to hear more about how you dress the Mabari up.” Dorian leaned over the table in unison with Bull, and Trevelyan.

Three bottles of Antivan brandy later and Sera and The Inquisitor were dancing on the table.

“Okay, I'm going to do...A FORWARD ROLL.” Trevelyan declared as she flipped with reckless abandon and actually combat-rolled off the table. Sera gracefully followed with a cartwheel.

“Me next!” Bull declared.

“Yes!” The party cried.

“My table!” The barkeep screamed.

*

Lady Trevelyan woke up with a stinking headache and her face crammed somewhere sweaty and smelly, “Ugh...Maker...Bull don't you ever shower-” she sat (Not easy as Merrill and Varric were on her lap snoozing peacefully) to find that it was in fact Dorian's armpit she'd been crammed into.

Dorian looked mortified, “I...can't smell that bad?” He gave his pit a sniff, “Oh no I _do_.”

“There's no way Josephine's night beat this” Iron Bull shifted underneath everyone.

“I heard Leliana contacted the King of Ferelden, and The Hero of Ferelden.” Varric got to his feet and stopped suddenly, confused.

“Mahariel?” Merrill sat up and looked at Bull, eyes wide, she was about to say something but Varric interrupted.

“...Bull...are we all tied to each other?” Varric lifted his arm, Merrill's coming with it.

“Hahahaha...yeah...yeeaaah” Bull lifted both his arms, dragging Hawke's and Dorian's with it.

Sera laughed loudly from outside the tent.

 


End file.
